Grandchildren - What A Legacy!

Grandchildren – What a Legacy! 

Hats Off To Grandpa Ted!

I am so fortunate to live in the same community with my four grandchildren – all grandsons. This is so different from my experience with my grandfathers. My mother’s father died before I was born. Thus, I never knew him or had the opportunity to develop a relationship with him although Mabel, my mother, always told me I would have loved him. I did know my dad’s father, Roy Cruzan but, when I was a child, my family was so far away from him that I really had no relationship with him. I did see him once or twice a year on visits to South Jersey where he lived but there was no time to bond or grow with him.

By contrast, Sue and I have been caregivers for each of our grandsons from the time they were born. Our house is their house, and we enjoy wonderful relationships with all four.

This blog post, with no intention of ignoring the remaining three, will focus on our first, Ivan.

Ivan was the first great grandson of Ivan FitzRandolph for whom he was named. He was the first grandchild of both of his grandfathers, Ted Sykora and me. So, you see, Ivan grew up basking in the doting love of both of his grandpas.

Ivan has always been a hard worker and was ready and willing to assist with nearly any task. He is a great yard caretaker, a life saver when it is time to put up outside Christmas lights, and other things too numerous to list here.

This past fall, while helping me with some firewood chores. I mentioned to Ivan that I’d really like to avail myself of a wood splitter to clean up and make useable a couple of downed trees in my back forty. I should mention that many years ago, I did wood splitting with a mall and wedges and then hauled the fireplace size pieces on a toboggan to the house where I stored them in the basement. Physically, I can no longer do splitting this way. Ivan picked up on this immediate and replied that his other grandpa, Ted Sykora (whom most of you knew as a great local dentist), had built a wood splitter several years ago and that he (Ivan) had assisted him. Ivan thought that, maybe, that splitter could be transported into town from Ted & Laura’s farm, and we could use it. This immediately created a warm, special feeling in me so I told Ivan I would speak to his dad and to see what he thought of this idea.

I need to digress here and state that today, December 14, 2023, is one year since Ted was promoted to Glory after a valiant struggle with cancer. Ivan, as well as his brother Gus, was close with Ted and helped him around the farm. Ivan became a caregiver for Ted during his illness and often stayed with him overnight as those needs arose.

Ted and I did not know each other well – primarily passing acquaintances – but I heard so much about him from Ivan. While primarily known as one of Milton’s dentists, Ted also managed a small farmstead. I don’t think there was anything this man couldn’t do. He created and made things from scratch (the wood splitter being a phenomenal example). He built his house as well as helping his son, Leif, and daughter Candice build theirs. He made do with what he had.  I have absolutely no skills of this kind at all and so admire those who do. By contrast my tools are basically pens and legal pads. Ted also played the cello. Ivan plays violin but his younger brother, Gus, plays the cello.

So, back to the beginning of this story – transporting the homemade wood splitter to town became a reality. Leif and Ivan checked it out at the farm and got it running. Then they transported it to my woods behind my house (no, I did not build it, nor would I have a clue) in the middle of town. Ivan ensured that it was set up near the wood that was ready for splitting. Leif and Ivan provided instructions on its operation (remember that this is hand made from spare parts laying about the farm) and we were good to go.

A couple of days later, Ivan and I spent a few quality hours together splitting and stacking wood. I had the hard job of operating the lever that controlled the ram while Ivan hauled and stacked. We enjoyed each other’s company and the sense of satisfaction of good work well done. 

Throughout this time together, I was overcome with love and emotion. Working side-by-side with a grandson is a true joy. I could not help but reflect on Ivan helping his Grandpa Ted build this piece of useful equipment and then help me, his Grandpa Jon, with this task.  Ivan learned so much from Ted – how to use his hands, how to create, how to make do, and how to give back and support others. Ted, I hope you were watching us that day and in days to come as Ivan and I continue working with this splitter. I can only imagine the smile on your face.

 

Building Bridges, Forging Connections, and Establishing Positive Relationships

I have been blessed and overwhelmed by all the congratulations and affirming comments I have received since being inducted into the School District of Milton’s Wall of Honor last Thursday night. In a perfect world I could convey my appreciation and thanks to all these people individually. That, however, seems nearly impossible to me so I will cover as many as possible here in this Espresso Shots post. To that end, I am posting here a scaled-down version of my acceptance comments given at the ceremony last Thursday night.

Several months ago, when I first heard about the Wall of Honor concept for our school district, I was very pleased. I love the concept, but never in my wildest imagination did I ever entertain the idea that I might be nominated and selected as an honoree. When I was informed I had been nominated and selected for this year’s induction. I was completely overwhelmed with surprise and emotion but, oh, so highly honored.

Taking nothing away from any individual inductees, I see The Wall of Honor as a community building concept – a clear example of working collaboratively and collectively to create a synergy - a situation where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I refer to myself as a Community Catalyst. If nothing else, it creates a great conversation starter. So, what is a catalyst?  Return to your chemistry days where there is a proven way to make change happen faster: Catalysts convert air into fertilizer and petroleum into bike helmets. But most intriguing is the way they generate change. Add a catalyst. Instead of adding heat or pressure, a catalyst provides an alternate route, reducing the amount of energy required for reactions to occur. Here’s the important part for me – rather than pushing, catalysts remove barriers.

I believe I invest time intentionally and diligently to build bridges and remove barriers across the community. How do I accomplish this. We don’t have the time tonight, but I believe a couple of thoughts are worth sharing.

I was fortunate to have Earl & Mabel, parents of extremely high standards, incredible values, significantly deep faith, and exemplary work ethic. As a child and teenager, I’m not sure I totally appreciated this and I’m sure I railed against what I saw then as restrictions and limitations. Now at age 73 and reflecting, I was and am so fortunate.

As I transitioned to adulthood, my life was transformed by the presence and influence of positive mentors and advocates. Professors at Milton College were an initial part of this posse. Several others are sitting in this room tonight. It seems I was unconsciously competent – I could do a variety of things quite well but didn’t really understand all that went into that. Apparently, these people saw something positive and chose to affirm, nurture, and encourage me. Because of these positive influences, I left my initial chosen field of school teaching and entered the world of corporate human resources (we used to call it personnel). I found a successful career where I spent nearly 40 years.

Because of these positive encouraging influencers, I began to move from unconscious competence to conscious competence. HR was a good fit, and I was learning why and how to become better. This wasn’t always easy. I needed correction and guidance often, but these people were masters of this. The organizations for which I worked also made clear the necessity of being intentionally and actively involved in helping make the community better and stronger.

Oh, the power of positive affirmation. In my strong opinion, we must catch people doing things right and then affirm them in these behaviors. Whether it’s students with grades & activities, elected officials, volunteers, salesclerks, police officers, teachers, administrators, pastors, or whomever – positive affirmation is powerful. Never, never underestimate the positive influence you can be.

Careers and community involvement are nearly impossible without strong family support.  Sue and I dated in high school and are now in our 54^th year of marriage. Sue has always supported my career and community activities despite their sometimes inconvenience. My two adult daughters, Nicole and Amanda, along with their husbands, Tom and Leif are also strong supporters. Of course, my biker gang – Rising Red Hawks – Ivan, Gus, TJ and Emmit are part of that club as well.

Sue is an accomplished flower gardener – sometimes uses the tag – Dahlia Girl. She finds that applying her interest and craft in flowers is a great balancer.  I am, clearly, not a gardener of plants but I do consider my beloved community, Milton, my garden. It requires planting, watering, weeding, harvesting, and tending in a variety of ways. My family has supported me in this for years.

I was a young adolescent during the Folk Era. Peter, Paul, & Mary were a clear leading favorite. At the risk of implanting a song in your head that you may take to bed with you tonight, I offer you this brief sample.  The words go.

Inch by inch, row by row 

Gonna make this garden grow.

All it takes is a rake and a hoe

And a piece of fertile ground

 

Plant your rows straight and long.

Temper them with prayer and song.

Mother Earth (that’s Milton) will make you strong

If you give her love and care.

 

Inch by inch, row by row

Someone bless these seeds I sow.

Someone warm them from below

Till the rain comes tumbling down

(This song has been covered by many, many artists. This link will take you to the version I like. If you decide to view it, please watch for the kids’ reactions. After all, are we all investing in them and their futures? You may also simply search YouTube for Peter, Paul, & Mary – The Garden Song.            ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHhRyjwYnX0)

Kari asked, “What would I like my legacy to be?” This baffled me for a bit, but I have settled on this – I would like to be remembered as a positive “character” in my community.

Thank you for this honor and for your attention this evening. I will conclude with a quote from a favorite author, Wallace Stegner. This is from one of his essays written for the PBS program, This I believe -

“I will certainly never do as much with my life as I want to, and I shall sometimes fail miserably to live up to my conscience, whose word I do not distrust even when I can’t obey it. But I am terribly glad to be alive; and when I have wit enough to think about it, terribly proud to be an American, with all the rights and privileges that these words connote; and most of all I am humble before the responsibilities that are also mine. For no right comes without a responsibility, and being born luckier than most of the world’s millions, I am also more obligated.”  

To all of you well-wishers - Thank you soooo… much!  This honor means more to me than I know how to express.

What a great community!

#CRUZAN4MILTON#WEAREMILTON

 

 

 

  

Feels Like Home To Me

Already, two weeks have come and gone since Milton’s great Independence Day Holiday Weekend Celebration. For me, this special time generated much reflection and introspection on a variety of levels.

For a small, but growing city, Milton sure seems to have a “lock” on how to celebrate this most meaningful holiday. There is a great deal of history that has brought us to this point – history filled with countless moving parts, and untold volunteer hours. The array of attractions and activities covers multigenerational age groups. What fun, but also, what a testament to community – to individuals, organizations, school groups, merchants, governmental bodies, all working cooperatively to provide a class act for all citizens and residents. This does not just happen, especially in our fragmented world. I believe we can be proud that, as a community, we have discovered ways of being together that make Milton such a wonderful place to live, work, raise children, and grandchildren. The multiplicity of Schilberg Park activities was phenomenal. I particularly enjoyed seeing some of our merchants, school groups, and other vendors there.

The Optimist Run has long standing memory for me. In ancient history, I used to run the 10-K but no more. For many, many years now, my brother-in-law (and good friend), Brian Bliese and I, as timers, have had the privilege of working at the very start of the race and then hightailing it to the finish line so that we can welcome those first miler finishers. This year we both enjoyed having a new generation - grandchildren (Toby, Tenley, and Gus) working with us. And so, it goes – the march of years.

The run is like a reunion. We greet and chat with people who have participated in this event for years. The volunteers in the results tent have done this for years as have those handling announcing the results and distributing ribbons and trophies.

I particularly like the picture below from this year’s event. In it you see the finish line. I am back-to in the black shirt (#milton pride) and Brian is on my right. On the other side of the street is Skip Drew. Skip and I are high school classmates and all three of us are Milton College graduates as is long-time Race Director and Municipal Judge, Kris Koeffler – Yes, The Spirit Lives. Also in this picture are the first mile finishers about ready to cross the line. The leader is my grandson, Ivan, and neck & neck with him is his friend Braden. The run is tradition, connection, & fun. It is also “give back” and helping young people grow. If you want & expect a vibrant and connected community that’s just what you do.

Milton’s July 4^th parade is also iconic. It’s a time for families and friends to reunite and rekindle important relationships. It’s a time for reminiscing, for catching up and renewing. The pride and celebration are palpable as, carried by our local veterans, our Stars & Stripes lead the way. This is always a respectful and honorable moment as spectators stand and salute and pure emotion creeps into every throat. Our two school bands are always popular, and nostalgia runs rampant as many spectators remember their own marching days gone by.

Our phenomenal fireworks display closes out the day and just like that it’s July 5^th. The carnival is gone, the special traffic direction signs are gone, the blankets and tarps have disappeared from the Madison Avenue terraces and those white directional arrows painted on the roads to guide the runners begin to fade. Miltonites return to their normal jobs, routines, and processes.

But something does remain – the spirit of community, camaraderie, working together, pride of place – all these gain oxygen and become stronger.

On July 6, I experienced an additional shot of reflection and contemplation. Like many others, I am in rotation to deliver Meals on Wheels. My turn comes up something like every six weeks, so it is certainly not onerous. What a great program. People who have challenges that prevent them from getting out have a nutritious meal delivered to their door. Not only does this provide essential dietary needs but also a point of social connection – a check in - that is likely just as important as the food. It is heartening for me to realize that Meals on Wheels or similar variations take place across the United States. Talk about community and connection!

As I was delivering meals on the 6^th, I drove by the Middle School and noticed a new wording on their front lawn sign. I went by too quickly to read it carefully so, when my deliveries were complete, I drove down there to take a close look. What I saw is in the second picture. I had to stop and catch my breath. What a phenomenal sentiment and salute to our students – “our kids.”  It made me think of these words which are credited to Charles Schwab. “I’ve yet to find the man, however exalted in his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under the spirit of criticism.” Great sentiment for anyone in a supervisory or leadership role. In my work with our great school system, I consistently see our teachers, administrators, and staff members implementing this philosophy in their daily activities. Thank you, Tara & Ben, for your leadership at our Middle School and for providing our community with this great salute to our kids.

Because Milton is and does feel like home to me, I pledge to use this July 4^th “shot in the arm” to continue to find new ways to be together in community, to bridge differences with integrity, to relate with love and respect and thereby continue to help Milton on its journey to being even better than it already is. I invite you to join me.

#cruzan4milton#WEAREMILTON