Positivity at the Coffee Shop

I hear often about how our community, the nation, the world - you name it – are full of negativity. I agree that there is more than enough out there to go around. Unfortunately, I find myself caught up in it. I don’t like this, so if, and when, I recognize that I am there, I try to do what I can to extricate myself. One coping strategy that has helped me is to always keep searching for the positive. Positivity is out there, and really isn’t hard to find. But you must be intentional and persistent in looking for it. When I am searching, I am often amazed at what unfolds.

Most of my readers know that I frequent Sharla’s Coffee Stop. As a reminder, it is all of 250 steps from my driveway, serves up great beverages, scones, waffles, & muffins and has become a gathering place for many. I happened to head that way Saturday morning. I entered and positivity descended on me to the extent I needed to share the experience.

I arrived late in the morning and found the place packed and getting more packed by the minute. This is positive for any business. I wondered at all the people and discovered that Opala’s Music Studio students were setting up to put on a recital. Seemingly every parent, family member, and kid in the world were pouring in. You can imagine the scene. Opala set up a keyboard and began to organize the kids. The noise level was high with the nervous, excited chattering of everyone. It was great! What a community building activity.

However, that left the two baristas, Kaleb & Maysa, to handle the onslaught of business. Not unlike many businesses, Sharla’s has experienced some recent staffing challenges. When I entered, I could see that they were facing a challenge that would have daunted many of us, but then I had the privilege of watching them rise to the occasion. As the recital of vocalists and pianists began, Kaleb & Maysa maintained their poise and their customer focus. They worked effectively as a team as their preparation and maturity clearly shown through. They were awesome and I was as proud as if they were my own kids. Many factors go into helping our Milton kids learn and succeed. Clearly their parents and families but also the programs offered by our schools. These two rising Red Hawk high schoolers participate in the School to Career program. This program is too phenomenal and comprehensive to describe in this blog but what a positive for our students and our businesses who participate.

To recap last Saturday:

I saw a local business absolutely packed with customers.

I saw a local business (a music studio) using another local business (Sharla’s) to host a recital. I hope we see more of this. Clearly a Win-Win.

I saw many families being introduced to Sharla’s Coffee Stop because it was the venue for their children’s recital.

I saw two great high schoolers show their maturity & training in effectively handling a challenging business/work situation.

I saw positive effects of our School District’s School to Career program (thank you Amy Kenyon). Opportunity, Achievement, Community!

I got to enjoy a great nitro cold brew with a bit of cream – absolutely delicious.

I’d say it was a positive day.

You can’t find it if you’re not looking for it.

#cruzan4milton

Stepping in the Light

“Life unfolds as a mystery. An enterprise where outcome cannot be foretold.  We do not get what we expect. We stumble on cracks, are faced with imperfection. Bonds are tested and tightened. And our landscapes shift in sunshine and in shade.  There is light. Look for it. Look for it shining on your shoulder, on the past. It was light where you were. It is light where you are now. It will be light where you go again.  Gentle rhythmic circles.” (*Call the Midwife – Series 8 Episode 3 Closing)

 A few short weeks ago, those gentle rhythmic circles didn’t seem so gentle as they caught me up short and shifted my landscape significantly.  My big sister, Barb Green, an icon of a healthy approach to life through regular exercise, healthy diet, sense of purpose, and profound faith in Jesus as her Savior, contracted ALS – Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It landed on her with a vengeance, and, while it could not breach her will to live nor her faith, with tenacious, impatient aggression it rapidly sapped her strength and her body. Barb died peacefully in her sleep on April 28.

I refer to Barb as my “big” sister because she is the eldest of we four Cruzan siblings and I am the youngest.  Having 9 years on me, she was always there. She wrote on me with the indelible ink of her shining role model of caring.  Nancy, Wayne, and I would sometimes call her, “Miss Perfect” or the “Golden One” as she never seemed to get in trouble, earned the lead in the play, became proficient in both piano & pipe organ and played the French horn in band. She earned the distinction of Valedictorian of her senior class and graduated cum laude from her four-year nursing program at Alfred University. Of course, Barb is a case of the “proverbial apple” and how it falls, as our parents, Earl & Mabel, were great caregivers themselves but Barb put her own brand on it.

She seemed to intuitively know that to be truly alive, we need to focus on something outside of ourselves. She used her medical experience to help individuals attend doctor appointments, manage their weekly meds, decipher their bills, and sort through treatment options. But Barb was so much more than clinical.  Those she helped understood her caring as she knew their names, their houses, their families, and their work.  She became their prayer partner and their prayer warrior. She had authentic concern for the ground level struggles of the people around her.  Why was she like this?  It was her faith, her belief that we need to become more like Jesus, serve one another in God’s love, and share life together in the Spirit. I haven’t heard or sung this hymn since I was a child, but it came to me this past week. It so speaks to who she was.

 Stepping in The Light 

Trying to walk in the steps of the Savior,

Trying to follow our Savior and King;

Shaping our lives by his blessed example,

Happy, how happy, the songs that we bring.

(Refrain)

How beautiful to walk in the steps of the Savior,

Stepping in the light, stepping in the light,

How beautiful to walk in the steps of the Savior.

Led in paths of light.

Pressing more closely to Him Who is leading,

When we are tempted to turn from the way;

Trusting the arm that is strong to defend us,

Happy, how happy, our praises each day.

REFRAIN

Walking in footsteps of gentle forbearance,

Footsteps of faithfulness, mercy, and love,

Looking to Him for the grace freely promised,

Happy, how happy, our journey above.

REFRAIN

Trying to walk in the steps of the Savior,

Upward, still upward, we follow our Guide;

When we shall see him, “the King in His beauty,”

Happy, how happy, our place at his side.

REFRAIN

As our parents began their decline, both Barb and I were at the height of our careers, she in Occupational Health & Medicine for large manufacturers and me in Corporate Human Resources, both of us in the greater Rock County area. Wayne and Nancy lived at opposite ends of the country, so Barb and I were “it”. We soon realized how ill-equipped both of us were in knowing how to be caregivers for our parents who had always been caregivers for us.  We were daunted by the time required for their care and the need for a rapid and steep learning curve from us.  We collaborated, we learned, and came to understand that our careers were very similar in many ways.  This drew us closer as we shared acquired knowledge and understanding. Our experiences with our parents led Barb to initiate a Parish Nurse program in our church.  In addition to her caregiving with individuals, she organized classes for caregivers. You might call these Sunday School classes while we called them Sabbath School classes or Grow Groups.  Barb researched, prepared, and presented caregiving materials and led deeply personal discussions with class participants.  These classes evolved into support groups resulting in significant value for those involved.   Barb also led the way as our congregation realized a need to recognize mental health issues. She developed a class called, “Mental Health Is Not A Choice”. It was well attended, and our discussions again became support groups. She brought in local area guest speakers to address topics such as suicide, eating disorders, PTSD, depression, bi-polar, and anxiety. Barb, as our Parish Nurse was the lead in these classes while Sue and I were privileged to be her support persons.  We worked well together in these settings and I will sorely miss collaborating with her. She and I looked forward to our monthly breakfasts, first at Panera in Janesville and then, after Barb & Dale moved to Fairhaven, at Jessica’s in Whitewater.  We shared great conversations and, as we told our siblings & spouses, solved most of the world’s problems.  There is a hole here which will be challenging to fill not only for me but for our church congregation who came to rely heavily on her. 

A couple of years ago, leaders in our church studied the Clifton Strengthsfinder materials and assessment. Barb’s Strengthsfinder assessment results indicate that her top five strengths were: Connectedness, Learner, Harmony, Responsibility, and Intellection.  No big surprise here as they are quintessential Barb.  Here are the personal Strengths Statements she wrote as a result of her study.

“I feel strong when I am able to build ongoing, supportive, trusting relationships with people that enable me to be of assistance in guiding them into appropriate, Godly solutions to their problems and concerns.”

“I feel strong when I listen and pay attention to God’s priorities concerning my time and act obediently so that I am in the center of His will for my life.”

 “I feel strong when I can see the gifts and strengths of others and can encourage them to step out and use these abilities wherever God leads.”

Not much of a surprise here either.

Barb also invested her time in our church's AWANA program for kids.  For several years she worked with the youngest group called Cubbies where she led games, helped these youngsters learn Bible verses, and learn about faith and salvation.  Sceptics might ask what affect any of this had.  Let me tell you about the phone call I received yesterday.  Out of the blue, I received a call from my grandson Emmit's third grade teacher.  She relayed that on Mondays she often asks her class members to share experiences from their weekend. This past Monday, 5 days after Barb's promotion to Glory, Henry raised his hand and told the class that a wonderful grandma type of lady he knew from AWANA, Miss Barb, had died. He was sad because she was so nice and caring and he would miss her. Liam and Emmit also shared that they knew her and how she cared for people. Talk about a tear-jerker. I found it difficult to breathe for a moment or two. Thanks so much Jan, for calling me. This, from the mouth of babes, speaks so eloquently to who and what Barb was and what has become her legacy.

 So, what lessons are here for those of us still here in this physical world?

 If we are to shed the light of the sun on others, we must first have it within ourselves. We must get ourselves sorted. “Purpose often comes to us in unexpected forms and packages. It surprises us. Sometimes a crisis will trigger it. Most often, purpose comes in the form of a faint voice that is difficult to hear above the noise of a hectic life. It emerges in the most ordinary of places and circumstances – at home, on the job, in the community, with family and friends.” (Wilson Learning Corporation – The Power of Purpose) We must be intentional. We must act. If you are not looking for it, you can't find it. People showing a little caring and compassion will start a chain reaction.  Each of us must start our own chain reaction.

In a recent article, The Wilderness Walk, Barb remarked, “We are all struggling. We are all in this together. We need to encourage one another, pray for one another, and remember that God is in control. I challenge you to find your blessings in this wilderness walk.” For me, this passage is deeply personal. Barb has established a standard of care. To fill the void of her absence I must step-up. I can't do everything, but I can do something.  I invite you to join me.

If you haven't read the poem, “When Great Trees Fall”, by Maya Angelou, you should. But get your tissues out first.  Here is the final stanza of that great poem:

Our senses, restored, never

to be the same, whisper to us.

They existed. They existed.

We can be. Be and be

Better. For they existed.

I know it is well with Barb's soul. Despite my current sadness, it is well with my soul also. So long great lady until we meet again.